fulfillment

The Thief of Joy

 

COMPARISON is the thief of joy !!!

Heard this the other day, and it reminded me.

We are all different. We all have different journeys. We set goals, and work our way towards them. Some of us get there quicker, and easier than others – or so it seems. Some of us take our time, and still get there in the end. What we must remember is we each have our own journey to reach our own goals.

I am the first to admit, although I try not to, I most certainly do look at others and think WHY CAN”T I?? If she’s so successful, why can’t I be? If she can run so fast why can’t I? She’s a great parent, how come I’m not? Then I do stop, tell those monkey voices in my head to just shut the …. up, and look at how great I really am. I’m successful in my own right. I can run as fast as I want to (I’m not running anyone else’s race). My kids love and respect me.

We honestly need to stop looking at others and comparing ourselves, and stop consistently asking ourselves if they can do it, how come I can’t? We all can, we have to do it in our own way, in our own time. And enjoy the journey. Appreciate what you are doing for yourself. Love what you are doing for yourself. And keep doing it. You will get there!

 

Need a helping hand to get there, then contact me.

 

Start kicking up your heels,

Sam

Stuck in a Rut?

are you stuck in a rut

Are you a Rut Dweller? I heard this term recently and it really made me think. Am I a rut dweller? I have my routines, sure, but does that make me a rut dweller. I don’t like to think so, so I thought I’d look into it more.

Routine doesn’t make you a rut dweller. Phew.

So after some digging, it has been shown that a rut dweller is someone who is not moving forward in their life, and in order avoid feeling bad about themselves they lower their standards just a little bit more. They are also a master of distraction. They love to watch sports and reality TV because they can then live vicariously through the stars. Now I’m not suggesting that every person who sits and watches sport is a rut dweller (I mean I like to watch the odd grand final, or car race)– but it gets you thinking doesn’t it. Are you sitting down to watch TV, rather than taking the time to sit down and reflect and examine your life because you don’t want to experience that hopeless feeling?

Do you know that life could be better? But don’t do anything to change things? A rut dweller looks at people who are achieving and says, “I could have done that.” But didn’t.  They’ll also say things such as, “I should be out there, I should be doing this…I should, I would, I could.” But never really does it; they just should, should, should. (That word  ‘should’  should 😉 be removed from our vocabulary – but that’s another blog 😊 ) A rut dweller doesn’t make excuses for themselves, though, or blame others for their ‘failings’; they resign themselves to the fact (well, it’s fact to them) that this is just how things are and then go back to checking the TV guide.

And would you like to know the saddest thing about a rut dweller? The first time they hit a wall or run into some sort of obstacle, they quit! As soon as they become overwhelmed or frightened, they stop; they quit. There’s no blame though; they don’t blame other people or circumstances; they just quit. And you know what they say about quitters? I’ll remind you. Winners never quit. Quitters never win. So, in effect, a rut dweller is not a winner – but you knew that didn’t you?

Does any of this resonate with you? I mean all of us, at some stage or another, has found themselves in a rut. It’s just who you are that determines how long you stay there. For some it is a short time, others a bit longer, and for some unfortunately it is the life they have chosen.

If you do not like the life you have chosen, or the rut you are dwelling in, I have a few suggestions to help you climb your way out.

  1. Firstly, and importantly understand that a rut is not a permanent place, it’s a temporary one. It’s just a small obstacle in your overall journey of life. If you take this view of your circumstance, you’ll be much more motivated to make the effort to get yourself back on track.
  2. Learn to grow; upgrade yourself and your thinking. Go to a seminar, read a new book – try a different genre form the one you usually read, read inspiring books – autobiographies are great or try a new hobby -something simple to start with. You might just learn a new skill, and meet new people.
  3. Literally take a new route to work – or maybe on the way home (you do not want to get lost on the way to work).
  4. Try a new coffee shop, or a new restaurant.
  5. Take some time, reflect, and think of one action you could do that would improve your life. Even by just a little. (And I am not talking – win the lottery!) What is an action you can do? Write it down, and commit to doing it!
  6. Raise your standards and take small steps towards improving yourself. As John Bytheway has been credited for saying “Inch by inch anything’s a cinch. But by the yard, it’s hard.” Little by little is the way to start. You do not want to overwhelm yourself at the get go.
  7. Find the courage to get back into the game of life. Be brave and put yourself out there and see what can happen. Look, you won’t know how things will work out, but until you try and if you keep putting those universal laws to work for you, you will succeed.
  8. Gather people around you who will help you achieve your goals (or the small steps you have chosen) and steer clear of those who will hinder you. Always surround yourself with others that are moving.

We have often heard the definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to come out differently. I’m more inclined to say it doesn’t even need the ending of expecting it to come out differently. Just doing the same thing over and over again, and staying in a rut, that is (to me) the definition of insanity. Live your life. Get up. Climb out. Be a rut dweller no longer! Be happy to move onwards and upwards! Now if you need help with this, contact me – I can help.

Okay, I’ll finish now and leave you with a thought by a great man. “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” ― Albert Einstein

Think on it!

Start kicking up your heels!

Sam
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Dodging Potholes

 

woman running

I went for a run today. Ran 5km! For me that is an achievement. I set myself a goal and boom – made it!

But that is not what this blog is about today. I just wanted you all to be impressed that I achieved my goal 😊 I’ll revisit goal setting again another day.

Now whilst I was running, I passed a few other runners – not overtook them, we just passed each other, they were coming my way. And you know what I noticed? They all had their heads down looking at the ground in front of them. Why? To avoid potholes? To avoid a crack in the pavement – or something even worse?

When I run, I run head up with a smile on my face and looking ahead (I hope people driving by wonder what I’m up to). No head down for me.

It got me thinking: that’s what a lot of people do, when running, or walking, or just moving in the direction of life – head down and concentrating on where to put their feet. But what does this achieve? Not much, except you’ve dodged the dog poo, or the pothole.

Honestly though, if you had your head up, and looked in front of where you are going (walking or running) you’d see the world around you, as well as that pothole, or crack, or poop that was coming up in front of you, and you’d be able to plan your steps accordingly.

Are you seeing where I’m going with this?

Do you look ahead with a smile on your face and look for challenges ahead so you can plan your journey? Or do you have your head down unaware of what is going on around you, or coming up, until you are right on top of it?

If this is you, you’ve probably left it way too late to be able to deal effectively with the presented challenges. When challenges jump at you, they are often met with surprise and a knee jerk reaction. And how effective is that? It’s not.

If your head has been up the whole way, and you saw the challenge coming, you can meet that challenge head on with a game plan.

Your ability to succeed when faced with a challenge, no matter how difficult, lies in your head space – your mental attitude. It’s often easy to have a positive approach to life when things are going well but you need to adopt the same principles when faced with adversity.

Here are a few hints that I have found to have helped me when I am faced with challenges.

  1. Remember head up – face it. Face the challenge and act. Putting off a challenge will not make it go away. In fact, it will only make it bigger. And this is true of big challenges, as well as the small ones. The most important thing you can do is face what’s in front of you head on.
  2. Look at the challenge, assess the situation, your resources, and your abilities, and then act. Your action may include enlisting help from others, but it will be your challenge to solve. The sooner you take up the challenge, the quicker it stops being a problem. Don’t look for the easy way out or some wise words that will show you the way. No one ever solves your problems for you, only you can decide for yourself how you will process the situation.
  3. Let go of the potential outcome, the stress of hanging on to the outcome is what turns a molehill into a mountain. Once you shift your focus to the thing you’re doing, instead of the result, the most intimidating parts of the challenge start to disappear.
  4. Most of all, learn to be grateful for the challenges in your life, because they make you stronger. They do, honestly. There is a reason why certain challenges seem hard to you whilst others breeze right through the same situations. Challenges are opportunities to grow. By facing your challenges—even if you fail—with full presence and awareness, you will find most challenges are not challenges at all. They are messages to help you learn and grow. And that is what we are put here on this earth to do – learn and grow.

So, keep your head up. Smile. See what’s ahead and organise your way to meet those potholes head on. And just keep running. Meet them head on.

And remember if you need a hand to help you with your potholes I’m here to help. Just a click away.

Start kicking up your heels,

Sam

 

 

Healthy body. Healthy mind. Be happy

fit and happy

You need both a healthy mind and a healthy body to be happy.

The two are interconnected at every level. You cannot have a healthy body long term without a healthy mind. A happy mind.

It’s no secret to anyone that when you’re healthy, you’re happy. We all know that what we eat has a big impact on our physical wellbeing (you are what you eat? Anyone?).  The benefits of good health – eating well, exercising, using natural probiotic supplements – are many. I mean, think about it: looking better, being stronger, being fitter, dealing with fewer health issues and just feeling good overall, would make anyone happier with life.

Healthy body means healthy mind. Healthy mind means happiness. So, think about your diet – scratch that word – think about what you put in your mouth every day to ‘nourish’ yourself. Are there foods you eat too much of? Are there drinks you drink too much of? Sure, they might make you happy temporarily, but are they really making you happy? Think about it. Deep down are you happy with your eating choices – or really, do you often chide yourself – “I shouldn’t have eaten that”, “I shouldn’t have had that third drink”?

Since I mentioned drink- think about what you imbibe. A lot of people use caffeine or alcohol to alter their mood, however these effects are temporary, and if you continue to keep up that feeling, you often feel much worse than when you started. (Now if you don’t – then perhaps it’s time to seek professional help – way outside of my expertise). I’m not saying become a tea totaller, but I am asking you to question your drinking habits. Are they just that – habits? You wake up – you have a coffee. Morning tea time – another coffee. Lunch time – another coffee. Afternoon tea… oh you get the gist. Same with alcohol – you get home, have a glass of wine (or a beer, or a scotch) to calm down after a hectic day. Have another whilst dinner is cooking. Have another with dinner. Have an after-dinner drink. Sound familiar? Habitual. Do you really need it? Try a day without it and see how you go. If you can’t, then you have created bad habits and need to start changing them (that’s another blog).

Look I know it’s easy to forgo healthy foods because there are so many fast, convenient foods on offer, but honestly there are so many opportunities that are so much better for you. Just look for them. Do your research and see what’s right for you. Is there someone you know, admire or look up to, that can help you? Seek them out. Most people are more than happy to share their knowledge and help. If you don’t know them personally do they have a website, a book, a podcast? Don’t find excuses – I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money, I don’t know what to do. Your health and happiness are what keep you alive. How long do you want to be alive? Are there loved ones you want to be around for? To see them grow up. No family? What about fur babies? What about travel? What about helping your community. Think outside of yourself.

Like I said at the beginning, you can’t have a healthy body long term without a healthy mind. If you don’t believe at the deepest level that you are a healthy person, you will sabotage yourself every time. If you are a person who loses weight only to gain it back, your beliefs do not match your visions. You believe something other than what you are trying to accomplish and your mind brings your body back to the unhealthy state again and again. I can help you with that – I’m a coach that’s what I do.

You need a healthy mind and a healthy body to be happy in life. Truthfully, you can have thousands of dollars in your wallet, but if you’re overweight, underweight, consistently fatigued or lacking energy, and finding life a drudge to get around, are you really happy? And honestly, successful people value themselves highly and invest in their own wellbeing. They have a vision of themselves happy, healthy, successful. They enjoy life and do not want illness or injury to stop them. You want to be successful, and happy, you need to be healthy too.

I am healthy, and happy. Here are ten quick tips, small steps to start improving your health:

  1. Add 2 more glasses of water to your fluid intake every day
  2. Take the stairs instead of the elevator (unless it’s a 40 storey building of course – don’t want to give you a heart attack instead of a little fitness)
  3. Go for a walk, and make it brisk, not a dawdle
  4. Eat a lighter morning meal filled with a balance of protein, fat and carbs to make sure you have energy to get you through til lunch
  5. Swap white bread, pasta, rice for wholegrain versions, (try grating zucchini into your pasta sauce – yummo)
  6. Swap sweet potato chips for potato chips – homemade and baked not fried
  7. Avoid sugary drinks and snacks – the sugar hit doesn’t last long, and doesn’t do your hips (or teeth) any good, substitute with mineral water and fruit, try snacks of almonds, cashews, berries (oh and low fat snacks are not always better – check the sugar content!)
  8. Do not skip meals – if you’re hungry you’ll pick at anything
  9. Go to bed earlier – establish a good sleep pattern
  10. Stretch daily – you don’t have to be a gym junkie, or a marathon runner – everyone’s muscles need stretching

So many people think being healthy is a difficult, arduous task, involving PTs, hours at the gym, and months of dieting. But it’s just not. By controlling your daily activities, anyone can become healthy and remain healthy – at any age. (I’ve just given you 10 small steps to start). It’s not so hard – just start. I found what works for me, you can find what works for you.

Get your health mind in line with your health goals. Stop bouncing. Stop sabotaging. Match your beliefs with your visons. Be happy.

Need help? I’m just a click away.

Start kicking up your heels,

Sam
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Hug me Right – oops… Left

group hug

Okay so last week we were talking about good vibrations right? Are you on your way to raising yours? Need some more help?

Hugs.

That’s right hugs. When was the last time you had a really good hug?

Today? Great!

Yesterday? Okay.

Can’t remember? Why?

Are you getting enough hugs in your life? Hugs are quite profound and nurturing. Something magical happens when two people hug, regardless of whether they have newly met or are old friends.  It’s true, and it is scientifically proven too. (I love that science backs up my woo woo stuff)

Now, did you know that our bodies have over 2 square meters (or 22 square feet) of skin on the body? That’s enough to fill in a doorway!! Wow. And skin loves to feel skin.

And did you know that there is a biomagnetic field around your body? It’s true. It’s a fact; around everyone’s body is its own magnetic field. Okay, so these fields are extremely weak and can only be detected using some super sensitive equipment that blocks out all external magnetic fields, including the Earth’s magnetic fields, but it is there. And when two bodies merge through a hug, the energy is lifted up. That’s when we then become more energised, more awake, more alive, and we feel safer. That’s why we love hugs.

But. And there is always a but.

There are ways to hug, and ways not to hug. Well you can still hug that way, but it’s really of no nurturing benefit. Let me give you some tips.

The best hug, the good and nurturing hug, is one which has been mutually agreed upon and where both parties have full contact from neck to waist. Full contact, but relaxed and gentle, loving even. And it may feel a little odd (because it is normally the opposite side) , but hug left ear to left ear – our hearts overlap, and our energy is great.

The Side Hug or let’s pose for the camera type hug is a familiar, friendly gesture, and is often used in a group setting. Hugging this way shows a single front, heads inclined towards each other, and if it’s reciprocal shows great rapport between the participants. Not very nurturing, but still is uplifting because you’re all friends together. Group hugs can do the same – just make sure there is no-one being squeezed tightly in the middle.

From behind hug is where one person will approach and hug their partner from behind encircling them. It shows deep connection and caring – which can be especially comforting if your partner is feeling a little down. It can also be a protective and territorial signal, one partner tries subconsciously to protect so the other partner feels safe and guarded.

There are a few hugs that really don’t do much at all.

The A frame hug – when two people lean together like an A-Frame. Their necks are all about that touch. Not very nurturing – may as well just shake hands.

The quick half a chest hug – my should touches yours. Whoop de doo. I notice a lot of young men do this along with a slap on the back – macho, bro hug, I’m not really into this whole hug thing type ok? Funny to watch.

The hug accompanied with patting. OMG. You are not burping a baby – so don’t expect that your huggee (if that’s a word) is going to feel great, all they may do is burp in your ear (hehe, that’s what I do to my kids if they try that one on me).

The lift and twirl hug. Oh I hate this one. I am not a very tall person, some would call me petite (I just call myself short), but what I hate most of all (and I do not like to use the word hate often), but I HATE it when someone – usually a tall man, thinks it’s great to hug me, pick me up and twirl me around like I’m a rag doll. That is just a sign of dominance – look I’m bigger and stronger than you. So if you’re tall don’t do it. Just bend your knees and hug nicely. Now it’s a different case if you run at someone in excitement, jump into their arms and fling yourself around – that is an excitement hug. And so long as its reciprocal (and you haven’t knocked the other person over) it’s a wonderful, happy hug.

The chiropractic hug is great if you’re looking for some free chiropractic adjustment, but a big squeeze is not very warm and nurturing. It can knock the wind out of your sails, and leave you feeling deflated.

And the worst one I’ve ever had to put up with is the bump and grind hug. It’s okay if it’s my partner, and we’re fooling around – but when someone comes in really tight and close and grinds their hips into me, that right there is sexual assault!

Okay so that’s just a few types of hugs. I’m sure there are many more, but you get my gist.

The caring nurturing hugs are the ones we want. The ones we need. Hugging is great for your health, easy to do, and free. Hugs have low energy consumption, but high energy yield. They are non-fattening, organic, sugar free – and naturally sweet, and 100% wholesome.

The sad fact, unfortunately, is that some people have skin hunger – they haven’t been touched for a such a long time, that they are hungry for hugging. So to help raise your vibration and the vibration of others, find someone that needs a hug and hug them. Anywhere. Anytime (just make sure it is consensual) and spread the joy. Spread the happiness.

Would you like more tips on  Achieving Happiness? Click here and pick up a copy of my free eBook.

Sam
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