Has your phone stopped ringing? Do you no longer receive calls from your friends asking you out?
“Ring, ring why don’t you give me a call” Abba’s song reverberates in my head.
Do you stop to think why the calls have ceased?
Okay more questions.
How often do you keep your word?
How often do you do what you say you are going to do?
How often do you keep your agreements?
Always? Often? Normally most of the time? Sometimes? Have you really ever thought about it before?
I recently told a friend that I was going to post a vlog on my Facebook page http://bit.ly/218WWUc by this week. I put it in writing, as is the case when you are on Facebook, so I knew there was no going back on my word. If I didn’t keep my agreement, what sort of person would that make me? It may not seem like a big deal, but it is.
Are you aware that when you break your word, when you don’t keep your agreements, you are doing damage to yourself – both internally and externally. Well that’s a bit dramatic, I can hear some of you say – and that’s only because we seem to give and break our word so casually.
But think about it. You don’t follow through on what you said you’re going to do, you could lose the trust, respect and credibility others have of you – whether it is your partner, your family, your friends, your colleagues or your customers. You don’t keep your agreements with others, and eventually they’ll just stop asking you because they know they can’t rely on you. You don’t turn up. You’re late. You’re too busy. You’ve run out of time. The phone stops ringing. That could be to go out and play, to meet up for coffee or a meal, to help clean out the garage, or to get a quote for a new service you are offering. How does that make you feel? Not so great, huh?
It also effects your own self-worth, self-esteem, and self-respect because ultimately each agreement you make is also made with yourself to do something. When you don’t do what you say you will, you create confusion and self-doubt deep inside, you undermine your own sense of personal power.
Okay, there may be some of you out there saying na-ah not me, I always follow through. I always turn up. I’m never late. I always make the time. And if that’s you, then well done. Thumbs up, good on you, you should be well pleased. I am. I am very happy for you.
But let me ask this. What about your agreements to yourself? Think about it. How often have you told yourself- “It’s okay, I’ll go to the gym later”, “It’s okay, I’ll eat healthy tomorrow”, “This really will be my last glass of wine” ?? You’ve made agreements with yourself, but you’ve pushed your goals to the backburner. You keep agreements with others but not yourself. And that’s not fair. You are not valuing your own word, your own commitment.
Here’s the thing: The more you value you, through honouring agreements to yourself, the more value you are to everyone. You believe in yourself, and so will everyone else. You trust yourself, and so will everyone else. And you know what happens then don’t you? You will be happy and joyful -which is all any of us really want to be.
So let’s look at this then:
Be serious in keeping your word with others AND yourself.
Only make agreements you intend to keep – you may have to learn to say NO more often (don’t just say yes to get someone off your back).
Write your agreements down in a diary or a planner so you don’t forget. Did you know that the memory can lose a detail in as little as 37 seconds? 37 seconds!!! So write it down.
Clarify and affirm agreements you have with others and in those instances where something has truly arisen that means you are going to have a broken agreement, contact the other person involved and let them know as soon as you can. Acknowledge you have broken the commitment and renegotiate or recommit. *
It really is not that scary.
I encourage each of you to think about making and keeping agreements as a positive choice that enhances your vitality, energy and relationships which in turn will contribute to the joy and happiness you have in your life. I mean, after all that’s what we all want isn’t it?
So keep your agreements, and kick up your heels. Your phone will keep ringing! Play dates will be made. Coffee will be had. The garage will be clean. And all those quotes you do will be accepted.
If you need help sticking to your agreements, I can help you. Contact me and see if we can work it out. I’m only a click of the button away.
Start kicking up your heels,
*Oh as a side note – a very important side note, I had to acknowledge my broken agreement, renegotiate and recommit with my friend. The vlog did not get published. Not for the lack of trying. I recorded it, but it was not ready to be published in time. My commitment was there, but unfortunately technology was not on my side. It will be up soon 🙂