I was going to write about “What is a Life Coach and how do I find the right one?” In fact I actually started, however lately I’ve been putting the finishing touches on my ebook, Start Kicking Up Your Heels or… Achieving Happiness (click here if you’d like a copy).

Happiness. Achieving happiness.

Doesn’t it seem strange that we have to strive to achieve happiness? Why aren’t we always happy?

And it got me thinking back to when I was kid. I was happy. I remember being happy. Sure there were days my parents pissed me off (or maybe it was just that they were disciplining me because I had pissed them off), but overall I was happy. We weren’t rich; both mum and dad worked. We didn’t have lavish holiday; in fact I distinctly remember sharing a tent with my dad one rain-soaked night – too scared to touch the sides or the rain would come in, whilst my mum and younger sister slept in the car. But my sister and I were happy. I walked to school with my friends during the week, and I spent all weekend with them, out and about, on our bikes. Care free and happy (unless I pissed my parents off again by getting home AFTER the street lights had turned on).

Why did this change? Why is it that as we get older we lose our spontaneity for happiness? It has to be a learned behaviour.

How many videos have you seen on social media that show you babies and children laughing uncontrollably? When was the last time you did that (and no alcohol was involved)?

I remember just the other day I was laughing so hard, and for the life of me I cannot remember what it was about, so I asked my daughter “what was I laughing about the other day?” Her reply? “Which time? There was a lot”. What a beautiful answer, but it didn’t help. So I went into the other room to find my son and asked him the same question. His answer? “I don’t know – you always do.” Again, another aww.

I do laugh a lot. I do have a positive mindset. It is my life’s goal to help as many people as I can find more happiness in their lives.

Somewhere between childhood and adulthood we lost the art of playing. Of being happy just for being happy.

Adulthood is heavily focused on work, responsibility, and family commitments. As adults we need to find some downtime and focus on our happiness. We need to zone out from the TV, because honestly how often do you turn it on and it makes you cringe or cry? News is all bad, TV shows are all about murder and mayhem, and reality TV, oh don’t get me started on reality TV. Anyway we need to get away from the TV or our computers and learn to play again.

We’re not playing to achieve anything more than happiness.

So if you have kids (big or small) take (or physically drag them) to the park and kick a ball, play piggy in the middle, or tip. I’ll bet sooner or later you’ll start laughing, even if it is only at yourself for being unco.

No kids? Find a friend, or take your partner. Hire some bikes and go for a ride. Not into exertion – find a hire place for electric bikes. Again you’ll end up laughing – or is that only me because I had no idea what I was doing? I laughed hysterically the whole time!

Look, just find something, anything to play at and make yourself happy.

The benefits of happiness are profound. It relieves stress, stimulates the mind, improves brain function, boosts creativity, improves relationships, and helps keep you feeling young and energetic.

Think back to when you were a kid, did you have stress (apart from when the dog ate the homework), weren’t you creative (didn’t those mud pies taste great), and didn’t you have a lot of friends (and I mean real, live friends, not 2378 likes on Facebook)? Weren’t you young and energetic?

Don’t lose it!

Oops, too late? Okay, go back and find it again.

Happiness is not reserved for the young.

Happiness is for everyone; it is our birthright, and it should not deteriorate as we age (our body does that for us, don’t let your mindset).

So find something, big or small, to play at that will make you happy. And do it.

As Lucille Ball once said “It’s a helluva start, being able to recognise what makes you happy”.

So look, recognise it, work on it, develop it, and become that happy child once again.

Start Kicking Up Your Heels,

Sam