Something to share.
Just returned home from another getaway with my gorgeous husband. He had a business training to attend to in the city, so we made a night of it. He went to training, I stayed at the hotel and worked on my business, then we met up for ‘date night’. We enjoyed a lovely meal, great conversation, some wonderful belly laughs, and a couple of drinks. We had a fabulous time. But then again, we always do.
Arriving home, we unpacked blah de blah de blah, and set about to do some work checking emails. I received one from Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas reminding us to order our photos from our Vow Renewal Ceremony that we had there recently.
I was going through the pics. They’re gorgeous, well that’s a given – I mean they’re of me and my loved one. Beautiful photos of a beautiful memory. We renewed our vows with Elvis to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. 30!!! And boy hasn’t it flown. Well, they say time flies when you’re having fun, and boy do we have fun. Look I’ll admit not all day every day, we have a couples of businesses to run so it can become hectic at times – but overall we have fun.
I was recently asked, on a scale of 1-10, one being the lowest ten the highest, how would I rate my relationship and love life. No brainer – I said “10, but does it have to stop at 10 – double it, 20! Yes, at least 20 out of 10”.
“Wow,” came the response. “How do you do it? How do you keep it at 20?”
Now I know there are a bazillion sites, books, blogs out there to tell you how – from “3 Ways to Keep a Relationship Healthy” to 7 ways, 8, 10, 17, 18, 23, 50 100??? And honestly to list them all would be pointless. For me… us, we don’t need a long list. It’s easy. Play. Communicate. Sleep. That’s it in a nutshell.
We play a lot. I’m not taking dress up and role play, well… No, no, that’s not what I’m talking about here. We have fun together. We do stuff together that makes us happy. Could be as simple as go out for coffee. Go for a walk along the beach. Go for a drive out to the mountains. Have a swim in our pool. Get married by Elvis. Just something to do together, and we normally end up laughing somewhere along the way. The playful side of our relationship gives us relief from the more serious part of life concerned with work, money, housework, the kids, etc. We try to remember the old saying “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? And we mustn’t forget Jill either!
We talk AND LISTEN. Don’t just ask how your partner’s day was, and continue to cook, write, watch the TV or whatever, when they answer you. LISTEN to what they have to say. They may need your sympathy because they had a shitty day, or they may have had a truly great day and really want to share it with you, and get some praise. So listen. When you’re walking along the beach, listen to what your partner has to say – stop staring at the surfers (or the beach babes) long enough to really LISTEN. True listening doesn’t just use your ears, it engages your eyes and heart and establishes an emotional personal connection. Good communication is critical for forming and keeping close relationships and for making us feel valued and understood. (It also means you laugh at the right point of the conversation too).
And, one more. Do you sleep alone?
We go to bed together. It is something we have always, always done. I mean go to bed at the end of the day, to sleep together. This may seem petty to some, but it’s pretty bloody important. Okay there have been a few times that I’ve stayed up later – but that’s so I can get my assignments done and in on time (time management is a whole other blog J ), but 360 out of 365 days we go to bed together (361/366 this year). We hug and kiss, and say “goodnight, sleep well” and drift off together. We finish our day together. It’s intimate.
Now I know there are partnerships out there where one party works away weeks at a time, so there is no sleeping together- but when they get home – DO IT. I know there are shift workers too, and this plays havoc with sleep routines. Just try, when the opportunity arises – sleep together. It is a special thing that you only do when you’re in a permanent relationship; share that really special space and time together
I’m not here to lecture anyone. That’s not my job – yet. All I’m saying is when asked how I have such a fabulous relationship my answer is Play, Communicate, and Go to Bed Together.
Certainly not rocket science, or earth moving, but this is what works for me… us.
And hey, I write my blogs for me, in the hope that my ramblings help at least one of you to see another point of view, think a new thought, try something different.
We’ve got 30 years down, and at least another 30 to go! We’re doing something right.
If you need a hand in this area, then contact me. I’m not a therapist, but a transformational life coach. I’m here to help you find out what’s going on in your life, and how you can work at changing it. I’m offering 50% off my coaching packages for the month of March. So drop me a line. Let’s see what we can achieve together.
Start Kicking Up Your Heels,